.
We watched your show in Brasília five years ago, how quickly those years passed, and they were the most difficult of my life, at least on a conscious level, of the periods that I can remember. Childhood was certainly not easy, but that period is now in the hands of Dr. Freud.
But I left there as if I were in a parallel world, as if I had gone there to be charged with your strength and your magic for the years to come. A few days later we went to South Africa, we saw totally different and unusual things, one of our best holidays, and there were lions, elephants and giraffes in the savannah, good food and wonderful people warming our hearts. That trip was proof that great things sometimes only depend on our little mustard seed, on a little will and enthusiasm. Let’s go? So let’s go. There’s a lot of life out there, just light the flame. And then, on the way back, I managed the almost impossible, a place to run the Tokyo Marathon, the mythical 42km195m. One afternoon they called me from the sports agency, asking if I was still interested in running on the other side of the world.
Laura, that was incredible, my fourth Major. I spent the whole afternoon involved with that registration, choosing the hotel, the plane tickets. At night, I drew up my training schedule, back on the track two years after running the Chicago Marathon. I always listened to you at night, as I have done for almost 30 years, and that end of the year seemed very promising. But we make our plans, but God is the one who stamps our passports.
My mother had suffered a stroke at the end of 2017, she recovered, but in the last 3 months of 2018 the symptoms returned, and we began a painful journey in hospitals. At the end of the year she was going back and forth, from the room to the ICU, and at the same time I began a 3-year journey of travel. I arrived in the city on Christmas Eve, and went straight to the ICU to visit her.
We talked a lot during that period, we prayed, I told her to stay calm, that she did her best to raise us, alone, poor. Life created in me a kind of inability to not have hope, to believe until the end. The doctors looked like bureaucrats, without the fire that I think is the most important thing in any profession. I hope they have improved, that they don’t see the human body as a machine without a soul. Let them think about healing until the end. Don’t give in. I remember the last conversation with them on a Sunday before my mother’s last operation, on the Monday. They were speechless, reflective.
I waited alone in the waiting room. They left, the surgeons did their job well. She, on the stretcher, opened her eyes, I told her that everything had worked out. It was the last time I saw those eyes, that watched me for so long, that meant so much in a cold and impersonal world.
She passed away the following Friday, and on Thursday I asked in the other wing of the ICU, one of the insoluble cases, if they had ever seen anyone leave there, cured. They said yes.
But I realized they were talking about miracles. And I’m the type who believes in miracles. But there is also everyone’s time, and we need to accept that.
At her funeral I read Psalm 91, as I had done for her for the past 3 months.
The Tokyo Marathon was behind us, I couldn’t prepare, but we went there to accompany our fellow runners, I will talk about that experience later in this chronicle.
That January 2019 was the beginning of that desert, which we crossed with difficulty, until this rainy night in February 2024.
I open the file and see the tickets for your show in São Paulo, at the beginning of March.
I listen to “Durare” while writing this text. What a beautiful song, another one from your immense repertoire of dreams.
From 2019 until now we have survived a pandemic, I faced loneliness in hotels across the country, I was surprised and disappointed by many people, I faced extreme situations in various fields, I delved deeper into the study of the mind and spirit, I lost myself and found myself again.
Without many symptoms, but knowing that it was necessary to move on.
You, dear Laura, were my daily dose of dreams, hope, strength. I followed your career, your awards, your film in which you exposed your human side, your weaknesses, like all of us, your fears and comebacks.
Five years later, we are survivors, each in our own world, connecting with your music.
Sceglimi stasera. Noi siamo mappe sulla. schiena. Una vita dopo cena.Siamo quello che ti va.
VALDIR SILVA
Valdir Silva 